It's always worse..

(Actual) Day 1

I woke up atleast 6 times last night hugging my pillow, missing her. Missing her scent, her touch, her warmth, the simple fact that she is beside me..
At 11:47 AM I woke up to a facebook chat message: Good morning Dear!
I was happy again for a second or two, but then I almost started to cry.. Again..

Since then we're chatting - even now- and I'm ultimately happy and endlessly sad at the same time..

I have a really bad feeling about this.. I don't know where this is going, but it doesn't feels like it's going in the right way.. I'm genuinely afraid that something bad will come out of this and I'm almost sure that I will lose them and with them the chance to be truly happy again..

If this really goes on for the next 4 months or more I'm going to break.. permanently..
If this will end in any other way than with the three of us living happily together: see above..